Symptoms of Relationship Violence
Early Warning signs that your partner may eventually become abusive:
- Extreme jealousy
- Quick involvement, e.g. saying “I love you” early in the realtionship, getting engaged after only a few months in the relationship
- Controlling behavior
- Unpredictable mood swings
- Alcohol and drug use
- Explosive anger
- Isolates you from friends and family
- Uses force during an argument
- Shows hypersensitivity
- Believes in rigid sex roles
- Blames others for his problems or feelings
- Cruel to animals or children
- Verbally abusive
- Abused former partners
- Threatens violence
(Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence http://www.acadv.org/dating.html)
If you believe you may be in an abusive relationship, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Have you ever been physically hurt, such as being kicked, pushed, choked or punched, by your partner or ex-partner?
- Has your partner ever used the threat of hurting you or members of your family to get you to do something?
- Has your partner ever injured or abused your pets?
- Has your partner ever destroyed your property or things that you care about?
- Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your family, going to school or doing other things that are important to you?
- Do you feel like you are being controlled or isolated by your partner? For instance, does your partner control your money, transportation, activities or social contacts?
- Have you ever been forced by your partner to have sex when you did not want to or to have unsafe sex?
- Is your partner jealous and always questioning whether you are faithful?
- Does your partner regularly blame you for things that you cannot control, or for his/her violent outbursts?
- Does your partner regularly insult you?
- Are you ever afraid of your partner or of going home? Does he/she make you feel unsafe?
(IL Department of Public Health, http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/womenshealth/factsheets/dv.htm)
There are signs of physical relationship violence that observers might see in a relative or friend who is in an abusive relationship. They include:
- being prone to “accidents” or being repeatedly injured
- having injuries that could not be caused unintentionally or that do not match the story of what happened to cause them
- having injuries on many different parts of the body, such as the face, throat, neck, chest, abdomen or genitals
- having bruises, burns or wounds that are shaped like teeth, hands, belts, cigarette tips or that look like the injured person has a glove or sock on (from having a hand or foot placed in boiling water)
- having wounds in various states of healing
- often seeking medical help or, conversely, waiting to seek or not seeking medical help even for serious injuries
- showing signs of depression
- using alcohol or other drugs
- attempting suicide
(IL Department of Public Health, http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/womenshealth/factsheets/dv.htm)
